I try not to post things like this, very personal things but I have to say, I do have to talk about it. Love is a very complicated thing. Nobody can really define it, it's different for everyone. Sometimes you fall into the whole, selfish side of it and sometimes you are the caring one.
It's hard to love wholeheartedly. It's difficult to accept everything about a person, especially when they are clashing with you. You always expect, when you shouldn't expect.
That's the hard lesson of love.
I'm still learning. I know that I am in love. That I try to be a good person to the one I do love, sometimes I mix up my own selfish desires and trumph them up as something I'm doing because I love. Of course this is always when I am in the wrong, sometimes even blindly wrong. At other times, it's hard to accept that I am even in the wrong and I make it worse. I find, I'm pretty good at that.
Also, love takes a lot of patience, understanding. I don't know if I have an exuberant amount of that. And love is tenacious, no matter how mad you are, how upset, how much you want to turn it off, you can't escape it.
And finally, love is just acceptance of whoever it is you are in love with.
Alright well done with that..on another note:
Depression sucks, but it's great when you beat it out. Had a blue day yesterday (well partially) but I am over it. Thanks J.
Another note: I pray to God that Jay finds a thesis, one that he is happy with. I hate seeing him frustrated, or feeling useless. It's just frustration talking, that I know. He's got a lot of talent, he just has to find something that he wants to utilize it on.
First of, may I say this "Very Nice! I like alot!" My personal fave quote from the movie Borat. If you haven't seen it WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!
Next, I HATE doing research for tech junk. I leave that up to Jay because it just gives me a headache but today I was inspired. I actually found a very very very interesting PVP (for you uneducated techies out there, which I was part of till recently, (which I am probably still part of so I shouldn't be claiming anything) Personal Video Player). It is almost as small as the Ipod but bigger in screen size, the Archos 404. I bought it for Jay for our 2 year anniversary (wow, it's almost that mark huh?). I think I wanted to get it because for the most part I am proud I researched it (I was torn over the Archos 604, the Cowon A2 and the Creative Labs W, all very good PVP's but just way too big to be carried around, hence I opted to get him the Archos 404). I know I should really get one for myself, but to tell you the truth, I doubt I would use it that much. I am more an mp3 player and the whole process of just downloading things and storing it into a device is so tedious for me. I probably update my Ipod every month, so basically once I have a song in there, it's there for life.
Also, been into this damnable WoW phase. Haven't had any dreams of WoW (THANK GOD) but I may. Once it gets to that point, I think it's time to retire it for a while. I think I like it more now because I have someone to level with (Jay, which is even better). To tell you the truth, I actually wanted to play WoW as one of those couple incentive things but I never knew we would both enjoy it alot. So I am thankful for LoveandAdvice.com. (Yes, I'm a nerd, I read about relationships, yada yada which is a GOOD thing! Because sometimes I have a one track mind).
Me and Jay are planning to redesign the apartment. We are looking for inspirational rooms, preferably those with alot of color (We didn't get the apartment and I was greatly disappointed). Haven't found anything I really liked as of yet but we will be going to Ikea this weekend and checking things out. I don't think we should buy anything, just look around (browse if you will) to get a handle on what we can get, what will fit and what will suit the apartment.
Mini vacance (as the french would say) in Atlantic City was good. We walked around, saw the sights, lost money (bleh) but all in all fun. Got to drive him though, probably the "worst" part of the trip (though I wouldn't even say that was bad, I am not much of a driving fan so I am probably being dramatic when I say "worst".)
Started writing my story, so far 3 pages, only 72 pages more to go before the month is out. Didn't do any writing this weekend, so I'm "really up to date." (Yeah, the sarcasm drips from that one). I do have to say I am excited about the story, not every day that I am tempted to do some major writing, so any is a bonus for me.
Today's Cowboy game reeked. Last week I had thought we made a come back, with big BIG improvements, well they proved me wrong. Ugh, and I dragged Jay and his friend to a sports bar to watch it too, much to my chargin and frustration.
(BSG, just wanted to throw that in there and Apartment hunting may come to an end. Wish us luck tomorrow.)
Whenever Jay shares the pic files, I'll put up pics from AC.
About Me: A graduate of Hunter College with a B.A. in American Literature. I flit around from various arts, games, blogs just sampling. Haven't really settled on anything yet.
I enjoy spending time with my tormentor, Jay and his dog Baron Von Doom (yes, that's his full name).
